Here's a video of Tim Keller speaking on how individuals and churches should respond to the poor. Keller lays out the social responsibilities of the church clearly and systematically. This is well worth watching/listening.
Tim Keller: The Gospel and the Poor: A Case for Compassion from Here's Life Inner City on Vimeo.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
If I Stand
This is my very favorite Rich Mullins song. Rich passed away in a car accident in 1997. I really miss the ministry of his music. Like Keith Green, he encouraged his listeners to a life of radical obedience, but with a particular emphasis on grace. He is best known for writing and performing the well known worship songs Awesome God and Step by Step.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Surrendering my Children: Part 3 -- The Cost of Discipleship
I wrote in the previous two posts about some situations God has used to help me begin to learn to surrender my children to His care and His will. I say "begin to learn", because my children are still young and this is still a very difficult process for me. To read about the first and second circumstances, click here and here. The following circumstance has become a significant, ongoing lesson that God has been teaching me over the past several years.
Circumstance #3:
"Mommy, I think God is calling me to be a martyr when I grow up. I think He wants me to be a missionary to the middle east. But I'm kind of scared about it."
No kidding!
These were words spoken to me by my oldest daughter, Emma when she was in 3rd grade. She had just come home from serving with my husband on a short term missions trip in Mexico. I had stayed home that week with my other two children, but apparently the speaker, Bill Drake, had made an impression on her in one of his chapel talks.
That morning Bill shared the story of Bonnie Witherall, an American missionary to Lebanon who was martyred back in 2002. He gave the challenge to those listening to be willing to lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel and to be honest I have wrestled with Emma's "calling" ever since.
You see, Emma is my first born. Even before I gave birth to her I have worried about her safety, as well as the safety of my other children, Marianne and Lizzy who followed a few years later. I have done everything I can do as a parent to ensure the safety of my children: Seat belts, helmets, stranger-danger talks, safe food handling, "look both ways before you cross the street" & "wear your shoes outside" lectures, etc, etc, etc.
Emma's statement gave me pause to really grapple with many areas of surrender I had given little thought to before:
Wow! My kids may end up in the far corner of the world somewhere on the mission field. Somewhere far away. Somewhere dangerous. Although it wouldn't be my will, God may lead them to martyrdom. How do I feel about that possiblity? I want to keep my kids close. I want them to be always within driving distance. I want to be able to have my grandkids living nearby. Those are things I want. But what does God want for them.
Ooooh! I didn't want to go there. I still have trouble going there. As a parent, I want the best for my children. I want them to be happy, healthy, and safe.
As a Christian parent, however, I have prayed since my girls were babies, that as much as is humanly possible, they would grow up to love God with all of their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. Intellectually I know that I want to raise my kids to love God so much that they would be willing to lay down their lives for Christ if they were ever called to do so. But the thought of that actually happening scares me so much that I can't think too deeply about it without ending up in a puddle of tears.
As I mentioned above, I have spent so much of my time and efforts as a mother trying to keep my daughters safe. At the same time, I have also spent much time and energy teaching my daughters that the way of the Lord means that we die to self, count the cost, and take up our crosses and follow Him -- even to the point of death. We read missionary biographies together that depict great sacrifice. We see in scripture Jesus calling us to all out obedience. As Chris Tomlin sings "oh the wonderful cross . . . bids me come and die and find that I may truly live."
When Emma said she felt she was being called to be a martyr, I bit my tongue from saying, "I certainly hope not!" I didn't want to crush the spirit of bravery that God was beginning to instill in her little heart. At the same time, I couldn't bear the thought that any harm might happen to her.
As she has gotten older, her call to missions hasn't wavered. She's gone from wanting to be a missionary to the middle east, to a missionary to Thailand, to presently feeling called to serve the Dalit people in India. She left Thursday for a short term missions trip to Africa, hoping while there to receive clearer direction from the Lord about His will for her future.
Its interesting how many surprised looks and questioning comments I've received about Emma going to Africa.
"Wow! She's so young! Are you worried?"
"Is it safe?"
Is it safe? Since when did Jesus call us to safety? On the contrary, as I mentioned above, the cost of discipleship is great. He calls us to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him daily (Matthew 16:24). He says we are blessed if we are persecuted in His name (Matthew 5:10-12). He says that we will be persecuted if we are his faithful followers (John 15:20). Scripture clearly indicates that if we are truly His followers we will live lives of sacrificial obedience.
I wonder if it is even possible to live a life of sacrificial obedience to God if we are pursuing pleasure, comfort, and safety? In a way, He calls us all to possible martyrdom -- to be willing to lay our lives down for Him should He ask us to do so -- although very few of us will meet that fate.
As Emma's mother, this has been an emotional journey for me. I don't doubt for a minute that she will be safe where she is going in Africa. But this step represents one step closer to a possible life time calling to the mission field. I don't know if that is where she will land. God may re-direct her to some other calling. I hope and pray that martyrdom is not in her future but I struggle with this as well.
I look at the scriptures below that say that those who suffer for His name are considered "worthy" and blessed".
Do I want my kids to be considered "worthy" by God? Do I want them to be called "blessed"? Yes, I do!
Do I want them to be willing to lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel? Most certainly yes!
Do I want them to be martyrs? No, no, and no!
Do I want them to be safe? Yes!
But when they die, do I want them to be found faithfully serving God? Yes!
Do I want God's will for their lives, even if it means suffering for His name? Oh, please don't make me answer that one now, Lord, I'm still not ready for that level of surrender.
Acts 5: 41-42
So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name. And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they kept right on teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.
James 1: 12
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
Revelation 2:10 -11
Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes will not be hurt by the second death.’
2 Timothy 2:10-13
For this reason I endure all things for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory. It is a trustworthy statement: For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him; If we endure, we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He also will deny us; If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.
Matthew 5:10-12
"Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
Luke 14: 26-33
If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’
Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.
Circumstance #3:
"Mommy, I think God is calling me to be a martyr when I grow up. I think He wants me to be a missionary to the middle east. But I'm kind of scared about it."
No kidding!
These were words spoken to me by my oldest daughter, Emma when she was in 3rd grade. She had just come home from serving with my husband on a short term missions trip in Mexico. I had stayed home that week with my other two children, but apparently the speaker, Bill Drake, had made an impression on her in one of his chapel talks.
That morning Bill shared the story of Bonnie Witherall, an American missionary to Lebanon who was martyred back in 2002. He gave the challenge to those listening to be willing to lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel and to be honest I have wrestled with Emma's "calling" ever since.
You see, Emma is my first born. Even before I gave birth to her I have worried about her safety, as well as the safety of my other children, Marianne and Lizzy who followed a few years later. I have done everything I can do as a parent to ensure the safety of my children: Seat belts, helmets, stranger-danger talks, safe food handling, "look both ways before you cross the street" & "wear your shoes outside" lectures, etc, etc, etc.
Emma's statement gave me pause to really grapple with many areas of surrender I had given little thought to before:
Wow! My kids may end up in the far corner of the world somewhere on the mission field. Somewhere far away. Somewhere dangerous. Although it wouldn't be my will, God may lead them to martyrdom. How do I feel about that possiblity? I want to keep my kids close. I want them to be always within driving distance. I want to be able to have my grandkids living nearby. Those are things I want. But what does God want for them.
Ooooh! I didn't want to go there. I still have trouble going there. As a parent, I want the best for my children. I want them to be happy, healthy, and safe.
As a Christian parent, however, I have prayed since my girls were babies, that as much as is humanly possible, they would grow up to love God with all of their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. Intellectually I know that I want to raise my kids to love God so much that they would be willing to lay down their lives for Christ if they were ever called to do so. But the thought of that actually happening scares me so much that I can't think too deeply about it without ending up in a puddle of tears.
As I mentioned above, I have spent so much of my time and efforts as a mother trying to keep my daughters safe. At the same time, I have also spent much time and energy teaching my daughters that the way of the Lord means that we die to self, count the cost, and take up our crosses and follow Him -- even to the point of death. We read missionary biographies together that depict great sacrifice. We see in scripture Jesus calling us to all out obedience. As Chris Tomlin sings "oh the wonderful cross . . . bids me come and die and find that I may truly live."
When Emma said she felt she was being called to be a martyr, I bit my tongue from saying, "I certainly hope not!" I didn't want to crush the spirit of bravery that God was beginning to instill in her little heart. At the same time, I couldn't bear the thought that any harm might happen to her.
As she has gotten older, her call to missions hasn't wavered. She's gone from wanting to be a missionary to the middle east, to a missionary to Thailand, to presently feeling called to serve the Dalit people in India. She left Thursday for a short term missions trip to Africa, hoping while there to receive clearer direction from the Lord about His will for her future.
Its interesting how many surprised looks and questioning comments I've received about Emma going to Africa.
"Wow! She's so young! Are you worried?"
"Is it safe?"
Is it safe? Since when did Jesus call us to safety? On the contrary, as I mentioned above, the cost of discipleship is great. He calls us to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him daily (Matthew 16:24). He says we are blessed if we are persecuted in His name (Matthew 5:10-12). He says that we will be persecuted if we are his faithful followers (John 15:20). Scripture clearly indicates that if we are truly His followers we will live lives of sacrificial obedience.
I wonder if it is even possible to live a life of sacrificial obedience to God if we are pursuing pleasure, comfort, and safety? In a way, He calls us all to possible martyrdom -- to be willing to lay our lives down for Him should He ask us to do so -- although very few of us will meet that fate.
As Emma's mother, this has been an emotional journey for me. I don't doubt for a minute that she will be safe where she is going in Africa. But this step represents one step closer to a possible life time calling to the mission field. I don't know if that is where she will land. God may re-direct her to some other calling. I hope and pray that martyrdom is not in her future but I struggle with this as well.
I look at the scriptures below that say that those who suffer for His name are considered "worthy" and blessed".
Do I want my kids to be considered "worthy" by God? Do I want them to be called "blessed"? Yes, I do!
Do I want them to be willing to lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel? Most certainly yes!
Do I want them to be martyrs? No, no, and no!
Do I want them to be safe? Yes!
But when they die, do I want them to be found faithfully serving God? Yes!
Do I want God's will for their lives, even if it means suffering for His name? Oh, please don't make me answer that one now, Lord, I'm still not ready for that level of surrender.
Acts 5: 41-42
So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name. And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they kept right on teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.
James 1: 12
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
Revelation 2:10 -11
Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes will not be hurt by the second death.’
2 Timothy 2:10-13
For this reason I endure all things for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory. It is a trustworthy statement: For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him; If we endure, we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He also will deny us; If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.
Matthew 5:10-12
"Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
Luke 14: 26-33
If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’
Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Lessons in Surrendering My Children: Part 2
I mentioned in the previous post, that God has used three different circumstances to help me learn to surrender my children to His care. Click here to read about the first circumstance.
Circumstance #2
When Emma was born, she was a healthy baby girl. Post-partum depression, however, left me spiraling down into a pit of worry again. When Emma was two months old, I saw a news story about a little girl who had been kidnapped right in front of her house. Anxiety over took me as I realized I could only go so far to protect my daughter. I stressed about how soon I should let her play outside, ride her bike to a friend's house, spend the night alone at someone's house, etc.
I was beginning to come out of this depression when Eric got a disturbing call while he was at the short term missions agency office he worked for. On the other end of the phone was an anonymous caller who told him to cancel the Tijuana outreach the next week or "everyone would pay", including him and "his newborn baby daughter!"
Fear over took me in an indescribable, paralyzing way. I didn't know what to do! I wanted to run and hide -- which I did. We took Emma and spent the night at a friend's house. The next morning Emma and I flew to my parents' house 500 miles away.
Undaunted and unwilling to submit to a threat, Eric called each of the leaders of the 15 or so teams scheduled to be on that outreach. Each one of the leaders called the parents of the team members to let them know of the threat. Eric and the rest of the minstry staff would continue the outreach as planned for whatever teams would show up. Only one team called and cancelled. Honestly, I was hoping that they all would.
I felt trapped. I was in bondage like never before. I wondered if I would ever emerge from this fearful mire. While at my parents' house that week, I was reading in Matthew 18 and came across verses 5-6 & 10:
Circumstance #2
When Emma was born, she was a healthy baby girl. Post-partum depression, however, left me spiraling down into a pit of worry again. When Emma was two months old, I saw a news story about a little girl who had been kidnapped right in front of her house. Anxiety over took me as I realized I could only go so far to protect my daughter. I stressed about how soon I should let her play outside, ride her bike to a friend's house, spend the night alone at someone's house, etc.
I was beginning to come out of this depression when Eric got a disturbing call while he was at the short term missions agency office he worked for. On the other end of the phone was an anonymous caller who told him to cancel the Tijuana outreach the next week or "everyone would pay", including him and "his newborn baby daughter!"
Fear over took me in an indescribable, paralyzing way. I didn't know what to do! I wanted to run and hide -- which I did. We took Emma and spent the night at a friend's house. The next morning Emma and I flew to my parents' house 500 miles away.
Undaunted and unwilling to submit to a threat, Eric called each of the leaders of the 15 or so teams scheduled to be on that outreach. Each one of the leaders called the parents of the team members to let them know of the threat. Eric and the rest of the minstry staff would continue the outreach as planned for whatever teams would show up. Only one team called and cancelled. Honestly, I was hoping that they all would.
I felt trapped. I was in bondage like never before. I wondered if I would ever emerge from this fearful mire. While at my parents' house that week, I was reading in Matthew 18 and came across verses 5-6 & 10:
"And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. . . .See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven."
God used that verse to speak to me in my Spirit again. I felt Him saying to me: Remember, I told you you could trust Me. I have special Angels watching over her. I take it seriously when people hurt children. If she is ever harmed in any way, my justice will be served. I promise!
At this point I was flooded with peace, not just for Emma, but for Eric as well. Nothing that could ever happen to them that would be outside of God's knowledge, power, and provision. I can honestly say that since that moment I have no longer been gripped by fear for my children. Now I've been fearful over other things since then, and I have had moments of fear for my kids, but I haven't been overwhelmed by continuous, unrelenting fear for their safety.
Well, the outreach happened as scheduled and was uneventful. It turned out that the anonymous caller was suspected to be a disgruntled youth worker whose youth pastor was making him take a trip he didn't want to take. He didn't admit to the accusations, however, and there wasn't enough evidence to press charges, so no legal action was taken.
I share this story two days after Eric and I saw Emma off for a two week trip to Africa. I am grateful that the Lord has brought us to the point of being able to release her to His care with open hands. I know I could easily retreat to a fearful grip that would keep Emma close and not allow her to take the risk of traveling so far without us. If I did this then both she and I would miss out on the blessings of God being manifested through her obedience to His calling on her life.
We have some missionary friends who served in the middle east for 15 years. When asked about the wisdom of serving in an area that is so hostile toward Americans, they would often quote the cliche "The safest place to be is in the center of God's will." Yes this statement has been so frequently quoted it has become cliche, but what a truthful cliche! I don't believe God promises to keep us safe, but He does promise to never leave us or forsake us. He does say that when we "walk through the shadow of the valley of death" he is with us with his comforting "rod and staff". This is both true for us and our children.
I share this story two days after Eric and I saw Emma off for a two week trip to Africa. I am grateful that the Lord has brought us to the point of being able to release her to His care with open hands. I know I could easily retreat to a fearful grip that would keep Emma close and not allow her to take the risk of traveling so far without us. If I did this then both she and I would miss out on the blessings of God being manifested through her obedience to His calling on her life.
We have some missionary friends who served in the middle east for 15 years. When asked about the wisdom of serving in an area that is so hostile toward Americans, they would often quote the cliche "The safest place to be is in the center of God's will." Yes this statement has been so frequently quoted it has become cliche, but what a truthful cliche! I don't believe God promises to keep us safe, but He does promise to never leave us or forsake us. He does say that when we "walk through the shadow of the valley of death" he is with us with his comforting "rod and staff". This is both true for us and our children.
Lessons in Surrendering My Children: Part 1
Do you worry about your children? I do! I have worried about them ever since they were in my womb. Over the years, through three different circumstances God has allowed me to experience, I have begun to trust Him more and more with the safety of my children. I'm still learning to hold them with open hands to be used by God as He would choose and direct. Its not easy.
Circumstance #1
When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Emma, I worried that she would be born with some sort of developmental disability. I worked with special needs children and saw the toll that it took on families to raise these precious kids and I just didn't know if I had it in me to take on that kind of responsibility myself.
Circumstance #1
When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Emma, I worried that she would be born with some sort of developmental disability. I worked with special needs children and saw the toll that it took on families to raise these precious kids and I just didn't know if I had it in me to take on that kind of responsibility myself.
I knew that God was good and that He wouldn't give me anything that He wouldn't equip me to handle, but at that point, I really struggled to trust God with this area of my life. About 4 months into my pregnancy, this fear began to overtake me. In my moment of despair, however, God revealed Himself to me in a very powerful way that enabled me to begin to release some of that fear to His control.
I was getting ready to take a trip to Mexico with my husband. We worked for a short-term missions agency at the time and were in Mexico frequently throughout the year. I knew there was a dear old interpreter, Euphemia, who was going to be there. Those who knew her endearingly called her "Abuelita", which means "little grandmother", and she was a very dear lady to me indeed.
Several years before, she had given Brian and I a "word of knowledge" that amazed us. Being raised Methodist, Presbyterian, and Baptist, I had previously been skeptical of these kinds of sign gifts. I am still skeptical of them. I really do believe, however, that Abuelita had a word from the Lord that she was supposed to speak to us. We hadn't told anyone about a decision we were wrestling with, but she spoke so specifically to the situation it left no doubt in my mind that it was from God.
I was getting ready to take a trip to Mexico with my husband. We worked for a short-term missions agency at the time and were in Mexico frequently throughout the year. I knew there was a dear old interpreter, Euphemia, who was going to be there. Those who knew her endearingly called her "Abuelita", which means "little grandmother", and she was a very dear lady to me indeed.
Several years before, she had given Brian and I a "word of knowledge" that amazed us. Being raised Methodist, Presbyterian, and Baptist, I had previously been skeptical of these kinds of sign gifts. I am still skeptical of them. I really do believe, however, that Abuelita had a word from the Lord that she was supposed to speak to us. We hadn't told anyone about a decision we were wrestling with, but she spoke so specifically to the situation it left no doubt in my mind that it was from God.
Well, knowing that Abuelita was going to be on this trip, I asked the Lord if he would put something on her heart that would encourage me and let me know that this baby would be ok. When I arrived at the ministry center in Mexico, I began to search for Abuelita. I found her in the dinning room, put on a great big smile and went to greet her.
When Abuelita saw me, she looked straight at me, shook her sweet little wrinkled bony finger, and immediately said something along the lines of, "The Lord wants me to tell you to stop worrying about this baby! Its going to be fine. You can trust Him!" I immediately was flooded with relief -- experiencing God's peace and giving Him praise and glory for being so gracious to ease my fears through Abuelita's words.
When Abuelita saw me, she looked straight at me, shook her sweet little wrinkled bony finger, and immediately said something along the lines of, "The Lord wants me to tell you to stop worrying about this baby! Its going to be fine. You can trust Him!" I immediately was flooded with relief -- experiencing God's peace and giving Him praise and glory for being so gracious to ease my fears through Abuelita's words.
Later on that night, I was lying in bed praying. Although Abuelita's words encouraged me, I was still wrestling with God, trying to take back the peace that He had given me. After a long cycle of praying-worrying-praying-worrying, I heard what I believe was the Holy Spirit speak to me saying. She's going to be okay. You have no idea how okay she's going to be. Trust Me. I have great plans for her!
I have to say at this point that I didn't know whether or not I was going to have a girl or a boy. I didn't find out the sex of the baby when I was pregnant with Emma because I wanted to be surprised. The next day I told Eric that I thought we were going to have a girl, that she would be absolutely healthy, and that God had great plans for her. From that point on in my pregnancy I stopped being consumed by fear. True, I had moments now and then when I slipped into doubt, but these were short lived and didn't leave me a miserable wreck.
Just a side note for clarification: If Emma had been born with a disability, that doesn't mean that God is not good and couldn't be trusted. God has a special purpose for those born with physical and mental challenges and their families. I am not of the health wealth and prosperity theology. I share this story to show how God encouraged me through a fearful time. He could have taken me on a different path and shown His faithfulness in a different way, but this is how He chose to reveal Himself in this circumstance in order to help me better trust Him.
I'll share my next lesson in surrender in the next post.
I have to say at this point that I didn't know whether or not I was going to have a girl or a boy. I didn't find out the sex of the baby when I was pregnant with Emma because I wanted to be surprised. The next day I told Eric that I thought we were going to have a girl, that she would be absolutely healthy, and that God had great plans for her. From that point on in my pregnancy I stopped being consumed by fear. True, I had moments now and then when I slipped into doubt, but these were short lived and didn't leave me a miserable wreck.
Just a side note for clarification: If Emma had been born with a disability, that doesn't mean that God is not good and couldn't be trusted. God has a special purpose for those born with physical and mental challenges and their families. I am not of the health wealth and prosperity theology. I share this story to show how God encouraged me through a fearful time. He could have taken me on a different path and shown His faithfulness in a different way, but this is how He chose to reveal Himself in this circumstance in order to help me better trust Him.
I'll share my next lesson in surrender in the next post.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
The Knowledge of the Holy
I've been reading through the The Knowledge of the Holy by AW Tozer again. I first read through this little gem 20 years ago for one of my Bible classes at Biola University. In it, AW Tozer describes and contemplates the attributes of God. Among the 23 chapter titles are such topics as: The Holy Trinity, The Self-existence of God, The Eternity of God, The Grace of God, The Mercy of God, The Justice of God, and The Divine Transcendence.
The first time I read this book, I did so in just a few days and soaked up every word of it like a dry, thirsty sponge. It deeply affected my thinking about the nature of God . This is the third attempt I have made to re-read this now. Previously, I have gotten to a certain point and just stopped. I'm not sure why. It's a short read -- only 117 pages, but it is so meaty that it seems like I end up stopping after each sentence to process and ponder Dr. Tozer's insights about God.
Maybe I the reason I finished it so quickly in college was because it was an assignment with an attached deadline, or perhaps I had more of a theological, academic mindset, that comes from being immersed in a Christian college environment. It could be that I didn't have little ones, a husband, a job, ministry, and other responsibilities vying for my mental energy. Whatever the case, with each failed attempt to re-read it I have left disappointed with myself when I end up putting it back on the shelf after the 7th or 8th chapter. Well good news! I am almost done with it! I wanted my daughter, Emma to read it while she is in Africa so I decided that I should read it first before giving it to her, so that we can discuss it when she gets back. She leaves for Burkina Faso in less than a week, so I guess this is the kind of book I need a deadline to meet in order to finish it, LOL!
One of the benefits I've received from reading this book is that I am better able to identify God's attributes during adoration time in prayer. Sometimes God seems so immense to me I am at a loss for words when it comes to expressing adoration. AW Tozer has helped give me words that I don't have. One of the things we are being mentored in through our ministry is something called worship intercession. I may write on that more later, but essentially it is prayer and spiritual warfare through worship singing. We do this corporately during our monthly prayer meetings, but I have begun to incorporate this into my own prayer time. Its not something I do every time, but it is becoming more of a habit. I was thinking about the attributes of God and wanting a song to express these attributes and a beautiful, old hymn that I sang in my childhood churches came to my memory. I looked it up on Youtube and I found the one below to be my favorite arrangement.
The first time I read this book, I did so in just a few days and soaked up every word of it like a dry, thirsty sponge. It deeply affected my thinking about the nature of God . This is the third attempt I have made to re-read this now. Previously, I have gotten to a certain point and just stopped. I'm not sure why. It's a short read -- only 117 pages, but it is so meaty that it seems like I end up stopping after each sentence to process and ponder Dr. Tozer's insights about God.
Maybe I the reason I finished it so quickly in college was because it was an assignment with an attached deadline, or perhaps I had more of a theological, academic mindset, that comes from being immersed in a Christian college environment. It could be that I didn't have little ones, a husband, a job, ministry, and other responsibilities vying for my mental energy. Whatever the case, with each failed attempt to re-read it I have left disappointed with myself when I end up putting it back on the shelf after the 7th or 8th chapter. Well good news! I am almost done with it! I wanted my daughter, Emma to read it while she is in Africa so I decided that I should read it first before giving it to her, so that we can discuss it when she gets back. She leaves for Burkina Faso in less than a week, so I guess this is the kind of book I need a deadline to meet in order to finish it, LOL!
One of the benefits I've received from reading this book is that I am better able to identify God's attributes during adoration time in prayer. Sometimes God seems so immense to me I am at a loss for words when it comes to expressing adoration. AW Tozer has helped give me words that I don't have. One of the things we are being mentored in through our ministry is something called worship intercession. I may write on that more later, but essentially it is prayer and spiritual warfare through worship singing. We do this corporately during our monthly prayer meetings, but I have begun to incorporate this into my own prayer time. Its not something I do every time, but it is becoming more of a habit. I was thinking about the attributes of God and wanting a song to express these attributes and a beautiful, old hymn that I sang in my childhood churches came to my memory. I looked it up on Youtube and I found the one below to be my favorite arrangement.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
No Compromise: Remembering Keith Green
Keith was a popular Christian recording artist in the late '70's and early 80's. People give me surprised looks when I say "I was discipled by Keith Green after his death". But his passion and commitment to Christ have significantly affected my walk with God.
I came to know the Lord on September 4th, 1982. About a month later, I heard a choir perform The Easter Song (written by Ann Herring). The director said it was made popular by "the late Keith Green". After I heard the song, I became disheartened that he was "the late Keith Green", because the song was so beautiful, it seemed to have a transcendent quality. I decided I wanted to hear more of this man's work.
My youth pastor at the time, as well as many of my Christian friends, had an extensive Keith Green collection. I began listening to as much as I could get my hands on. When I got some babysitting or birthday money in my hot, little hand, I would go and purchase a cassette tape or record album.
Keith's music was different from other Christian music I listened to at the time. While worshipful and exalting the name of Christ, it called the listener to repentance and a life of radical obedience. Furthermore, it called the church to revival. He really was more than an musician, he was a prophet; not in the sense of predicting the future, but in calling and exhorting Christians to take their commitments to Christ seriously and live their faith.
Keith was delivered as a young adult, from a life of drugs and aimless, spiritual wandering, when he surrendered his life to Christ. He and his wife, Melody, came to Christ around the same time and immediately began following His commands to serve the poor and needy. They took homeless and drug addicted people into their home, fed and clothed them, gave them the gospel, and watched God deliver them through the discipleship process. The need for caring for these people eventually outgrew the capacity of their home and so they bought and rented additional homes on their block and continued their ministry to the disenfranchised.
During this time, Keith continued to develop his musical career. Initially, he had no desire to be recording music for a Christian audience. Eventually, through a series of events, he felt God leading him toward the Christian music industry. His first album, For Him Who Has Ears to Hear, became wildly popular with Christian listeners, eventually rising to the top of the Christian Music Association's charts.
His music was convicting, motivating, passionate and. . . stepped on toes -- especially songs like Asleep in the Light, which calls the church away from apathetic inaction in order to live out our call as Christians to love others sacrificially. Even though his songs were zealous and direct, somehow Christian listeners couldn't get enough of his message. Although he struggled with the balance of law and Gospel, sometimes even with a de-emphasis on grace, when I listened to him, I didn't feel condemned, as if he were better than I. Instead, I felt challenged to take my faith and commitment seriously by a fellow sojourner who was struggling to live out his own faith. It was as if he wasn't just speaking to his audience, he was speaking to himself as well.
Eventually Keith and Melody's ministry to the poor grew to the point where they needed to move. This decision lead them to buy several acres of ranch property in Texas. There they established the headquarters for their organization, Last Days Ministries. Along with the music & discipleship ministries, LDM also produced a monthly newsletter with articles written by Keith, Melody and other Christian leaders.
Eventually, Keith became burdened by the conviction that the Gospel should not have an attached price tag. Because of this, he asked to be released from his contract with Sparrow Records so that he could offer his albums for whatever price the listener could afford -- even if it was nothing. He also refused to charge admittance fees for his concerts.
The last year of his life, Keith and Melody became exposed to international missions through a European ministry tour they took together. This ignited a new passion for mobilizing the church to fulfill the Great Commission. I know songs like Go to the Hungry Ones , Open Your Eyes, Here am I, Send Me and Jesus Commands Us to Go had a significant impact on both my husband and me, helping to fuel our growing burden for the world.
Shortly before his death, Keith began to realize the importance of God's grace in his life, and his songs and message began to reflect this. Although I don't agree with all of his theology (he was more Arminian and I lean more toward Calvanism), I appreciate his transparent struggle in this area as communicated in his music.
Keith died in a private plane crash on a hot, summer day on the LDM property in Texas. He was 28 years old. Two of his children, Josiah, age 3 and Bethany, age 2 died with him. Melody, continued to lead LDM after his death. Only a few months later, she toured with the Keith Green Memorial Concert. Since the burden for missions was the last thing on Keith's heart right before he died, that was the emphasis of the concert. Loren Cunningham founder of Youth With a Mission described the event as "the largest missions challenge in history that I know of". God used the message of that concert tour to mobilize thousands of people to the foreign mission field.
Today, 34 years after the release of his first album and 29 years after his death, Keith's legacy continues through his music and message. Popular worship songs like O Lord You're Beautiful and There is a Redeemer (written by Melody Green) are still sung in churches today. Although I never knew him, I look forward to that moment in heaven when I will get to embrace one of my most influential spiritual fathers.
More about Keith's life and testimony can be found in the biography, No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green . You can also view the hour long video The Keith Green Story on Youtube. His music is available through the LDM store and on sites like Amazon.com.
Here is a recording of Rushing Wind, one of my favorite Keith Green songs.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
How Uncomfortable Do the Poor Make You Feel?
This is a great article from Compassion International. Its not too long and has some helpful insights.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Missions Discipleship: Some Practical Ideas
I mentioned in a previous post the need I feel for a return to missions discipleship. Here are some ideas for individuals, families, and churches. These are just off of the top of my head, so if you have additional ideas, post them in the comments section:
Read missionary biographies. Some good ones I've read are:
Through Gates of Splendor &
The Shadow of the Almighty (both about Jim & Elisabeth Elliot)
The End of the Spear (about Nate Saint)
Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret,
Lord's of the Earth (about Stan & Pat Dale)
Peace Child (about Don & Carol Richardson)
And the Word Came With Power (about Joanne Shetler)
William Carey
Jim & Betty Stam
Imprisoned in Iran (about Dan Baumann)
Bruchko (my all time favorite about Bruce Olson)
Torches of Joy (about John & Helen Dekker)
Mary Slessor
Eric Liddell
Gladys Aylward
I Dared to Call Him Father (about Bilquis Sheikh)
The Heavenly Man (about Brother Yun)
Total Abandon (about Gary and Bonnie Witherall,)
Jesus Freaks
Just a note about reading these to children. Some of these biographies include tales of martyrdom or violence. The biographies from the Christian Heroes: Then & Now series (several have been included above), however, are good reading material for both adults and children. Hero Tales is a collection of short biographies of Christian Heroes that our children enjoyed us reading aloud to them. Many of these biographies have been made into movies.
Go to missions conferences (ACMC, Urbana, Missions Fest, MissionExpo, Mission Connexion, etc.) meet missionaries there, sign up to get their prayer letters.
Host a missions conference at your church or work together with other churches to host a community missions conference.
Read the book From Jerusalem to Iryan Jira to get an overview of missions history.
Visit the website for the US Center for World Missions.
Sign up for Missions Frontiers or read it online (a publication of the US Center for World Missions).
Take a Perspectives on the World Christian Movement course on line or in person if one is available in your area or other courses available through US Center for World Missions.
Find out which missionaries your church supports and ask to get their prayer letters.
Read prayer letters during family devotions and pray for the missionaries.
Write to your missionaries. (confession: I am really bad at this!) If they are in closed countries, make sure to get a list of guidelines for letters from them or their sending agency.
Pray regularly for missionaries: for fruitfulness, strong marriages, their children, team unity, energy, vision, wisdom, prevention of burnout, refreshment, finances, spiritual warfare issues, loneliness & isolation, language learning, adapting to culture, friends, etc.
Invite missionaries on furlough into your home.
Pray about going on a short term missions trip or better yet, visiting a long term missionary on his or her field (make sure this would not be an inconvenience first). Be sure to take your children. Did I really say that? Yes, especially if it is a third world country. Trust God for your family’s safety. It will be an experience that will change your and your kid’s perspective and priorities forever.
Advocate for missionaries in your church (see if you can post their prayer letters if they are not in closed countries, see if you can do regular "missions spotlights").
Become aware of the persecuted church. Go to Voice of the Martyrs' website and write to a prisoner.
Visit websites of various missions organizations and find out what is happening in the Global Church.
Go through prayer books like Operation World or take your children through Window on the World.
Include "missions moments" in your children's Sunday School program or VBS. This can be done weekly in a short segment or once a month, take the whole Sunday School time to focus on a missionary or country to learn about and pray for. You could include items, food, songs, etc. from that country to make it more hands on. Be sure to invite visiting missionaries to come and share with the children.
Set an example to your children of giving regularly to missionaries. By supporting a missionary, you are helping to fulfill a task God has asked all of us to do -- preach the Gospel to all nations. My husband likes to use this analogy: We all have to clean our houses, mow our lawns, wash our cars, etc. These are tasks that need to be done. We can either hire someone to do it for us or we can do it ourselves. Similarly, I can't reach those in remote tribal areas of Tanzania, because God has a calling for me here in the States. So, I am helping friends of mine fulfill the Great Commission in that area of the world by praying for and financially supporting them in there work there.
Sponsor a child in a third world country through Compassion International or World Vision.
Put together Christmas shoe box packages through organizations like Samaritan's Purse.
Write your missionaries a thank you note. You will both shock and bless them. We recently received one from a supporter who cut off part of the thank you we had sent and mailed it back to us with a personal thank you. I also received an encouraging email recently from my friend, Christine. Those words of thanks and encouragement can go so far in preventing burnout, especially if the missionary is living overseas, in a foreign culture, away from family and friends.
Host a "Christmas in July" party. Put together Christmas missionary care packages in the summertime. Contact the missionaries first to see if they would want this (don't assume). Have them give you a wish list of items to be included in a care package. Make sure to find out if there are any customs restrictions. Have a Christmas tree in the lobby or some other place in the church with paper ornaments with specific items from the wish list written on them. Be sure to include ornaments with the shipping costs written on them as shipping packages overseas can be really expensive (this is something to consider when deciding which wish list items to put on the ornaments). Those who participate come to the party and assemble the packages. The church I attended in high school used to do this in the context of an international dinner.
Organize and facilitate a missions prayer meeting for missionaries in your church.
Become aware of the physical and spiritual poverty of countries the 10/40 window and pray for that area.
Again, if anyone has additional ideas to share, please post them in the comments section.
Read missionary biographies. Some good ones I've read are:
Through Gates of Splendor &
The Shadow of the Almighty (both about Jim & Elisabeth Elliot)
The End of the Spear (about Nate Saint)
Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret,
Lord's of the Earth (about Stan & Pat Dale)
Peace Child (about Don & Carol Richardson)
And the Word Came With Power (about Joanne Shetler)
William Carey
Jim & Betty Stam
Imprisoned in Iran (about Dan Baumann)
Bruchko (my all time favorite about Bruce Olson)
Torches of Joy (about John & Helen Dekker)
Mary Slessor
Eric Liddell
Gladys Aylward
I Dared to Call Him Father (about Bilquis Sheikh)
The Heavenly Man (about Brother Yun)
Total Abandon (about Gary and Bonnie Witherall,)
Jesus Freaks
Just a note about reading these to children. Some of these biographies include tales of martyrdom or violence. The biographies from the Christian Heroes: Then & Now series (several have been included above), however, are good reading material for both adults and children. Hero Tales is a collection of short biographies of Christian Heroes that our children enjoyed us reading aloud to them. Many of these biographies have been made into movies.
Go to missions conferences (ACMC, Urbana, Missions Fest, MissionExpo, Mission Connexion, etc.) meet missionaries there, sign up to get their prayer letters.
Host a missions conference at your church or work together with other churches to host a community missions conference.
Read the book From Jerusalem to Iryan Jira to get an overview of missions history.
Visit the website for the US Center for World Missions.
Sign up for Missions Frontiers or read it online (a publication of the US Center for World Missions).
Take a Perspectives on the World Christian Movement course on line or in person if one is available in your area or other courses available through US Center for World Missions.
Find out which missionaries your church supports and ask to get their prayer letters.
Read prayer letters during family devotions and pray for the missionaries.
Write to your missionaries. (confession: I am really bad at this!) If they are in closed countries, make sure to get a list of guidelines for letters from them or their sending agency.
Pray regularly for missionaries: for fruitfulness, strong marriages, their children, team unity, energy, vision, wisdom, prevention of burnout, refreshment, finances, spiritual warfare issues, loneliness & isolation, language learning, adapting to culture, friends, etc.
Invite missionaries on furlough into your home.
Pray about going on a short term missions trip or better yet, visiting a long term missionary on his or her field (make sure this would not be an inconvenience first). Be sure to take your children. Did I really say that? Yes, especially if it is a third world country. Trust God for your family’s safety. It will be an experience that will change your and your kid’s perspective and priorities forever.
Advocate for missionaries in your church (see if you can post their prayer letters if they are not in closed countries, see if you can do regular "missions spotlights").
Become aware of the persecuted church. Go to Voice of the Martyrs' website and write to a prisoner.
Visit websites of various missions organizations and find out what is happening in the Global Church.
Go through prayer books like Operation World or take your children through Window on the World.
Include "missions moments" in your children's Sunday School program or VBS. This can be done weekly in a short segment or once a month, take the whole Sunday School time to focus on a missionary or country to learn about and pray for. You could include items, food, songs, etc. from that country to make it more hands on. Be sure to invite visiting missionaries to come and share with the children.
Set an example to your children of giving regularly to missionaries. By supporting a missionary, you are helping to fulfill a task God has asked all of us to do -- preach the Gospel to all nations. My husband likes to use this analogy: We all have to clean our houses, mow our lawns, wash our cars, etc. These are tasks that need to be done. We can either hire someone to do it for us or we can do it ourselves. Similarly, I can't reach those in remote tribal areas of Tanzania, because God has a calling for me here in the States. So, I am helping friends of mine fulfill the Great Commission in that area of the world by praying for and financially supporting them in there work there.
Sponsor a child in a third world country through Compassion International or World Vision.
Put together Christmas shoe box packages through organizations like Samaritan's Purse.
Write your missionaries a thank you note. You will both shock and bless them. We recently received one from a supporter who cut off part of the thank you we had sent and mailed it back to us with a personal thank you. I also received an encouraging email recently from my friend, Christine. Those words of thanks and encouragement can go so far in preventing burnout, especially if the missionary is living overseas, in a foreign culture, away from family and friends.
Host a "Christmas in July" party. Put together Christmas missionary care packages in the summertime. Contact the missionaries first to see if they would want this (don't assume). Have them give you a wish list of items to be included in a care package. Make sure to find out if there are any customs restrictions. Have a Christmas tree in the lobby or some other place in the church with paper ornaments with specific items from the wish list written on them. Be sure to include ornaments with the shipping costs written on them as shipping packages overseas can be really expensive (this is something to consider when deciding which wish list items to put on the ornaments). Those who participate come to the party and assemble the packages. The church I attended in high school used to do this in the context of an international dinner.
Organize and facilitate a missions prayer meeting for missionaries in your church.
Become aware of the physical and spiritual poverty of countries the 10/40 window and pray for that area.
Again, if anyone has additional ideas to share, please post them in the comments section.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
What If . . .
A friend of mine posted the following video on Facebook earlier this week. Given the topic of my previous post, I thought I would post it. It is a short video well worth watching.
Missions Discipleship
If you are more concerned about the future of your church than the future of the world, then your church has no future.
We had a missionary from Thailand share in church a few weeks ago about his work with Burmese national church planters. Afterwards, our pastor passed on the above quote. He heard it a pastor's conference he attended earlier this year. The timing of this was perfect as that previous week I had been burdened by what I have observed to be a lack of "discipleship in missions" in The Church in the past 15 years or so.
Side note: This happens so often lately that it is starting to amaze me. I will be burdened almost to the point of distraction about something. I'll talk and "process" it over and over again with my husband, pray about it and then our pastor will teach about it on Sunday. It’s as if God has been preparing my heart all week for "the Good Word" (as one pastor I know would say).
Moving on: My husband and I both came to Christ around the same time, in the early eighties. We didn't know each other at that time, in fact we lived in different states. During that time period, though, there must have been a surge in foreign missions (long term) or something, because both of us had experienced a missional emphasis as part of our discipleship experiences, the courses of which looked really similar.
Long term missionaries from foreign fields would come and do presentations, we would have missions conferences every year, "prayer letters" and "prayer cards" were openly displayed in the foyer (unless of course the missionary was in a "closed" country and needed anonymity), missions was discussed and emphasized both in our youth groups and from the pulpits.
Our youth pastors told us about missionary heroes like Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, William Carey, Mary Schlessor, Bruce Olson, and Hudson Taylor. Furthermore, they read missionary biographies and encouraged us to do the same. When we were college aged, we learned about those living in physical and spiritual poverty in the 10/40 window and were encouraged to pray for them. "Christmas in July" dinners were held to raise money for Christmas packages for missionaries over seas.
Although we both attended Conservative Baptist (CBA) churches, it wasn't just denominational missions that we were exposed to. We had missionaries from a variety of agencies at our church equally represented along with the demominational ones -- organizations like Wycliffe, Operational Mobilization, Frontiers, AIM, SEND, CAM, New Tribes, Compassion International, etc.
Both Eric and I feel that the expanded world view that missions discipleship offered us has lead to a deeper level of faith than we would have had if we not been discipled this way. We have observed this not only in our own walks with the Lord, but in the commitments of others in our former youth groups. When we look at members of our groups today, many if not most of them have strong relationships with the Lord. Some of them are serving in ministry and/or missions.
Knowing how God is working around the world and seeing others serve sacrificially – sometimes risking their lives for the Gospel -- has been inspiring, convicting and motivating. Missionaries set the example of the type of radical commitment God asks of all of us. I’m not saying that all of us are called to be missionaries, but I am saying that all of us are called to "count-the-cost" levels of obedience. This life is a vapor. The next is "ages to ages". Missionary examples encourage us to live with full abandon in light of the "ages to ages" and not settle for a satisfactory, comfortable "vapor".
When we were in high school, the short-term missions movement was just beginning to take off. I was in tenth grade when I first went to Mexico for a week to do evangelism. I think that this movement has had both positive and negative effects on the overall missions emphasis of the church. For myself and my husband, it has been significantly positive, mobilizing us into a life-time of vocational ministry, both pastoral and missional. In fact, we served as full time missionaries for 17 years with a short-term missions organization focusing on the border regions of Mexico (My husband worked in the administrative office. We lived stateside and commuted several times a year). When short-term missions serves to mobilize The Church toward long-term missions, it can have hugely positive effects.
What seems to have happened in the past 15-20 years, however, is that an emphasis on short-term missions has replaced an emphasis in long-term missions. I was surprised several years ago when I was sitting on a church missions committee whose members had never heard of some of the largest and most prominent long-term, missionary sending organizations in evangelical Christianity (I mentioned some of them above).
Additionally, when I go into churches today, I no longer see missionary prayer letters displayed. One person told me this was because displaying prayer letters was not "seeker friendly". I don’t think visitors are going to walk into a church, see missionary prayer letters and say "Uh oh! I’m outta here!" -- especially if they receive a welcome that is warm and accepting.
Another pastor mentioned that it disturbed the asthetics of the church to have prayer letters displayed. My mother-in-law’s church has opted to place prayer letters/cards in some decorative file folders in wall pockets with an individual missionary’s name printed on each one. These are displayed in the back of the foyer as an alternative to the former practice of displaying them openly on shelves in the entry way. Although I’m disappointed that they made this decision, at least the letters are available for members to take.
I attended a mega church in California for 14 years. Although I love this church and experienced significant growth while there, it bothered me that we had attended the church for 12 years before we knew the name of one single missionary family. This was rather ironic because it turned out that the church generously supported almost 50 missionary families! I discovered this when my husband and I, along with another couple, decided to facilitate a missions prayer meeting.
We received all of the financial statements along with the contact information of the missionaries. While the church was extremely generous with finacial support, they weren't as good about educating the congregation as a whole about who the long-term missionaries were. When I would visit the church's website, there was a missions page, but only short-term missions trip information on it. The missionary page was "coming soon" for about 4 years. When we were commissioned for our missionary service, we had one person come up to us and say "I didn't know there were full time missionaries anymore". Unfortunately, for a church of 8,000 people, we only had about 5 to 15 people attend our prayer meetings. When I visited last month, I noticed that they no longer have a missions pastor.
Question: I realize that my observations are based on my limited exposure to churches I am familiar with or had some involvement in. If my experience is representative of a larger trend, however, what can those of us who are more missions minded do?
Answer: We must be intentional and disciple ourselves and our children in missions – and not just denominational missions. God is at work around the world in powerful and amazing ways. If we just focus on what He is doing in our denomination, we will miss some incredible opportunities to worship and praise God for what He is doing through other agencies. We also miss out on the chance to pray for these agencies and the countries they serve in.
I’ll include practical ideas for missions discipleship in my next post. In the mean time, check out this Youtube video to see the reaction of one tribe in West Papua, Indonesia upon receiving a the New Testament translated into their language for the first time.
We had a missionary from Thailand share in church a few weeks ago about his work with Burmese national church planters. Afterwards, our pastor passed on the above quote. He heard it a pastor's conference he attended earlier this year. The timing of this was perfect as that previous week I had been burdened by what I have observed to be a lack of "discipleship in missions" in The Church in the past 15 years or so.
Side note: This happens so often lately that it is starting to amaze me. I will be burdened almost to the point of distraction about something. I'll talk and "process" it over and over again with my husband, pray about it and then our pastor will teach about it on Sunday. It’s as if God has been preparing my heart all week for "the Good Word" (as one pastor I know would say).
Moving on: My husband and I both came to Christ around the same time, in the early eighties. We didn't know each other at that time, in fact we lived in different states. During that time period, though, there must have been a surge in foreign missions (long term) or something, because both of us had experienced a missional emphasis as part of our discipleship experiences, the courses of which looked really similar.
Long term missionaries from foreign fields would come and do presentations, we would have missions conferences every year, "prayer letters" and "prayer cards" were openly displayed in the foyer (unless of course the missionary was in a "closed" country and needed anonymity), missions was discussed and emphasized both in our youth groups and from the pulpits.
Our youth pastors told us about missionary heroes like Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, William Carey, Mary Schlessor, Bruce Olson, and Hudson Taylor. Furthermore, they read missionary biographies and encouraged us to do the same. When we were college aged, we learned about those living in physical and spiritual poverty in the 10/40 window and were encouraged to pray for them. "Christmas in July" dinners were held to raise money for Christmas packages for missionaries over seas.
Although we both attended Conservative Baptist (CBA) churches, it wasn't just denominational missions that we were exposed to. We had missionaries from a variety of agencies at our church equally represented along with the demominational ones -- organizations like Wycliffe, Operational Mobilization, Frontiers, AIM, SEND, CAM, New Tribes, Compassion International, etc.
Both Eric and I feel that the expanded world view that missions discipleship offered us has lead to a deeper level of faith than we would have had if we not been discipled this way. We have observed this not only in our own walks with the Lord, but in the commitments of others in our former youth groups. When we look at members of our groups today, many if not most of them have strong relationships with the Lord. Some of them are serving in ministry and/or missions.
Knowing how God is working around the world and seeing others serve sacrificially – sometimes risking their lives for the Gospel -- has been inspiring, convicting and motivating. Missionaries set the example of the type of radical commitment God asks of all of us. I’m not saying that all of us are called to be missionaries, but I am saying that all of us are called to "count-the-cost" levels of obedience. This life is a vapor. The next is "ages to ages". Missionary examples encourage us to live with full abandon in light of the "ages to ages" and not settle for a satisfactory, comfortable "vapor".
When we were in high school, the short-term missions movement was just beginning to take off. I was in tenth grade when I first went to Mexico for a week to do evangelism. I think that this movement has had both positive and negative effects on the overall missions emphasis of the church. For myself and my husband, it has been significantly positive, mobilizing us into a life-time of vocational ministry, both pastoral and missional. In fact, we served as full time missionaries for 17 years with a short-term missions organization focusing on the border regions of Mexico (My husband worked in the administrative office. We lived stateside and commuted several times a year). When short-term missions serves to mobilize The Church toward long-term missions, it can have hugely positive effects.
What seems to have happened in the past 15-20 years, however, is that an emphasis on short-term missions has replaced an emphasis in long-term missions. I was surprised several years ago when I was sitting on a church missions committee whose members had never heard of some of the largest and most prominent long-term, missionary sending organizations in evangelical Christianity (I mentioned some of them above).
Additionally, when I go into churches today, I no longer see missionary prayer letters displayed. One person told me this was because displaying prayer letters was not "seeker friendly". I don’t think visitors are going to walk into a church, see missionary prayer letters and say "Uh oh! I’m outta here!" -- especially if they receive a welcome that is warm and accepting.
Another pastor mentioned that it disturbed the asthetics of the church to have prayer letters displayed. My mother-in-law’s church has opted to place prayer letters/cards in some decorative file folders in wall pockets with an individual missionary’s name printed on each one. These are displayed in the back of the foyer as an alternative to the former practice of displaying them openly on shelves in the entry way. Although I’m disappointed that they made this decision, at least the letters are available for members to take.
I attended a mega church in California for 14 years. Although I love this church and experienced significant growth while there, it bothered me that we had attended the church for 12 years before we knew the name of one single missionary family. This was rather ironic because it turned out that the church generously supported almost 50 missionary families! I discovered this when my husband and I, along with another couple, decided to facilitate a missions prayer meeting.
We received all of the financial statements along with the contact information of the missionaries. While the church was extremely generous with finacial support, they weren't as good about educating the congregation as a whole about who the long-term missionaries were. When I would visit the church's website, there was a missions page, but only short-term missions trip information on it. The missionary page was "coming soon" for about 4 years. When we were commissioned for our missionary service, we had one person come up to us and say "I didn't know there were full time missionaries anymore". Unfortunately, for a church of 8,000 people, we only had about 5 to 15 people attend our prayer meetings. When I visited last month, I noticed that they no longer have a missions pastor.
Question: I realize that my observations are based on my limited exposure to churches I am familiar with or had some involvement in. If my experience is representative of a larger trend, however, what can those of us who are more missions minded do?
Answer: We must be intentional and disciple ourselves and our children in missions – and not just denominational missions. God is at work around the world in powerful and amazing ways. If we just focus on what He is doing in our denomination, we will miss some incredible opportunities to worship and praise God for what He is doing through other agencies. We also miss out on the chance to pray for these agencies and the countries they serve in.
I’ll include practical ideas for missions discipleship in my next post. In the mean time, check out this Youtube video to see the reaction of one tribe in West Papua, Indonesia upon receiving a the New Testament translated into their language for the first time.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Shaun Groves, Hero of the Faith
I wanted to post a correspondence interview my friend, Christine, held with Shaun Groves, a recording artist and Compassion International employee. This man has a tremendous heart for the poor. I have heard him and his wife interviewed on podcasts this past year and he really is inspiring. He says in his blog profile that he is "helping Christians discover what they were saved for, and being a voice for children around the world, desperate to be saved from poverty." Thank you for being that voice, Shaun! Without further ado, here is Christine's interview with Shaun:
Glory to God: Shaun Groves, Hero of the Faith: "Today's post is about Shaun Groves , a stand-up guy and real hero of the faith. As I've mentioned before, he's a full-time Compassion Inte..."
Glory to God: Shaun Groves, Hero of the Faith: "Today's post is about Shaun Groves , a stand-up guy and real hero of the faith. As I've mentioned before, he's a full-time Compassion Inte..."
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Be Thou My Vision
So, I thought I would post another song :) This time I thought I'd post one of my favorite hymns. We sang this in church this morning. This is my "keep things in perspective" hymn, whenever I'm tempted to lose my focus. This version is by Selah and it was the best (in my opinion) one that I found on Youtube. They left out two of my favorite verses, though (verses 3 & 4 below), so I've included all of the most commonly sung lyrics below the video. Click here to learn more about this ancient hymn.
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
JJ Heller: What Love Really Means
I've become a JJ Heller fan over the past year. Her music really ministers to me. I think this is because her songs are simple, fresh and feel so real -- no pretense. My youngest daughter has some mental health problems and JJ's song Your Hands has been a tremendous encouragement to her (and us) in times of worry and discouragement. A friend of mine who is involved in ministry with us sent me a link to What Love Really Means. One of the comments we hear frequently from some of our friends is that they don't feel worthy of God's love. I have explained to them that perhaps the reason they feel that way maybe because we want to put God in the same conditional box we put our human relationships in. JJ Heller captures the unconditional, redemptive love of God so well in this song.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Psalm 92 Women -- Margaret and Millie
There is a new pastor at of one of our partnering churches, and I really love his preaching style. He spoke on thankfulness as a mark of the Christian walk this morning, and Psalm 92 was the scriptural text. I was particularly drawn to verses 12-15 in this passage:
The righteous flourish like the palm tree
and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
They are planted in the house of the Lord;
they flourish in the courts of our God.
They still bear fruit in old age;
they are ever full of sap and green,
to declare that the Lord is upright;
he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. (ESV)
I've know a few older saints that have met the above description of an aged, righteous person, but I want to mention two of them in this post: Margaret and Millie.
Margaret was a mentor to me when I was a young adult. She was in her eighties when I first met her at my church. After just one conversation with her, I knew she was someone who I wanted to spend time with. Over the next year or so, I began to meet with Margaret for lunch from time to time. It was a wonderful opportunity to get to know her and learn from her.
Margaret was a single woman who had never been married, never had kids. She lived in a tiny apartment (in an unattractive complex) by herself. She had no family that I was aware of. For me, as a single person at the time, it seemed like hers would be a miserable life. In fact, singleness was one of my greatest fears as a young adult. So in my mind, being in your eighties with no husband, kids, or grandkids would be a recipe for lots and lots of complaining; yet Margaret was one of the most joyful women I had ever met. One time I asked her if she ever regretted never marrying. Its been 25 years and my memory is pretty fuzzy, so I don't remember her exact answer.
I do remember, though that the answer was "no." While at a younger age, she longed for a husband and children, at some point she surrendered her desires to God and accepted His plan for her marital status, which turned out to be celibacy and singleness. Margaret reminisced how full her life had been as an overseas missionary and how good and faithful God had been to her all her life. Her life was rich and full because of her relationship with her Savior.
I don't remember now even where Margaret served (I think it was somewhere in Africa), but I remember thinking that when I got to be Margaret's age, I wanted to be just like her, even if I never married. That she was content and joyful in God's calling and purpose in her life was evident in both her speech and gentle, gracious attitude. If bitterness and resentment over unfulfilled dreams were ever part of Margaret's life, no trace was left of these when I knew her.
The other woman who has recently set an example of aged godliness is Millie. I'm guessing that she is in her late 70's. She attends one of our partnering churches. When we visit her church, she is faithful to let us know that she is praying for us.
I don't think I know a sweeter soul in my town than Millie. Someone told me that she prays faithfully every morning for 3 hours. When I asked Millie about this, she acted like it wasn't that big of a deal. In fact she was pretty matter-of-fact about it.
When I asked her if she kept a prayer journal or if she had some special routine that she went through. She simply replied, "No, I just kneel down and pray what the Lord gives me to pray." Millie loves her Savior, and her righteousness is evident to all through her meekness. She doesn't call attention to herself or make it a point to display her righteousness before men. I love this sweet, unassuming woman! Millie is on a limited income, but never have I heard a complaint about finances. She has a richness of faith that no amount of money can purchase.
Meek, humble, unassuming, steadfast Millie. Contented, joyful, gentle, gracious Margaret. I want to grow up to be like them someday.
Margaret was a mentor to me when I was a young adult. She was in her eighties when I first met her at my church. After just one conversation with her, I knew she was someone who I wanted to spend time with. Over the next year or so, I began to meet with Margaret for lunch from time to time. It was a wonderful opportunity to get to know her and learn from her.
Margaret was a single woman who had never been married, never had kids. She lived in a tiny apartment (in an unattractive complex) by herself. She had no family that I was aware of. For me, as a single person at the time, it seemed like hers would be a miserable life. In fact, singleness was one of my greatest fears as a young adult. So in my mind, being in your eighties with no husband, kids, or grandkids would be a recipe for lots and lots of complaining; yet Margaret was one of the most joyful women I had ever met. One time I asked her if she ever regretted never marrying. Its been 25 years and my memory is pretty fuzzy, so I don't remember her exact answer.
I do remember, though that the answer was "no." While at a younger age, she longed for a husband and children, at some point she surrendered her desires to God and accepted His plan for her marital status, which turned out to be celibacy and singleness. Margaret reminisced how full her life had been as an overseas missionary and how good and faithful God had been to her all her life. Her life was rich and full because of her relationship with her Savior.
I don't remember now even where Margaret served (I think it was somewhere in Africa), but I remember thinking that when I got to be Margaret's age, I wanted to be just like her, even if I never married. That she was content and joyful in God's calling and purpose in her life was evident in both her speech and gentle, gracious attitude. If bitterness and resentment over unfulfilled dreams were ever part of Margaret's life, no trace was left of these when I knew her.
The other woman who has recently set an example of aged godliness is Millie. I'm guessing that she is in her late 70's. She attends one of our partnering churches. When we visit her church, she is faithful to let us know that she is praying for us.
I don't think I know a sweeter soul in my town than Millie. Someone told me that she prays faithfully every morning for 3 hours. When I asked Millie about this, she acted like it wasn't that big of a deal. In fact she was pretty matter-of-fact about it.
When I asked her if she kept a prayer journal or if she had some special routine that she went through. She simply replied, "No, I just kneel down and pray what the Lord gives me to pray." Millie loves her Savior, and her righteousness is evident to all through her meekness. She doesn't call attention to herself or make it a point to display her righteousness before men. I love this sweet, unassuming woman! Millie is on a limited income, but never have I heard a complaint about finances. She has a richness of faith that no amount of money can purchase.
Meek, humble, unassuming, steadfast Millie. Contented, joyful, gentle, gracious Margaret. I want to grow up to be like them someday.
They still bear fruit in old age;
they are ever full of sap and green,
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Reaping in Due Season
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9 -- ESV)
I was listening on Family Talk to an interview with Steve Fitzhugh, director of The House, a ministry directed toward inner-city youth in Washington DC. Steve mentioned the impact that a church busing ministry had on his life, starting at the age of 12. Dr. Dobson also mentioned the influence that a church-based children's ministry had on his wife Shirley (who came from a dysfunctional home) when she was a child.
In a previous post, I mentioned the importance of treating children from dysfunctional homes with kindness in church. Steve and Shirley's lives were transformed, and in turn, their lives have impacted the lives of others in innumerable ways, because adults took the time to care about them and invest in their lives.
I was so encouraged by this podcast, since so frequently I am tempted to "weary in well-doing" -- even yesterday I was feeling heavily this way. Sometimes this feeling is exacerbated by those in the Church that don't seem to want "those kinds of kids" coming to "our program". Unfortunately we've encountered this attitude more than once.
We've also been blessed by some children's leaders in the Church who have God's heart for "those kids". They are willing to "stick it out" and instead of being content to just continue "blessing blessed people" they are earnestly trying to reach the ones most desperately in need of healthy, godly adult relationships and role-models.
We have some friends, Steve and Tina, who planted a church in a low-income area of their town. Dr. John M. Perkins, founder of the Christian Community Development Association (he's a "big-wig" in our field of ministry) visited their church. What an honor it was for them! Dr. Perkins told Steve that ministries like his typically don't see significant fruit for about 15 years, because the change is generational. When we visited Steve and Tina a while back, they were at the 14 year mark and were starting to see significant fruit being produced in their work. God had used them to build a thriving ministry made up of many adult leaders whom they had been discipling since childhood.
Unfortunately, I think we sometimes discount the importance of spiritual investment in the life of a child -- especially those who have limited access to healthy adult role models or whose fathers are absent from the home. I know I find myself slipping into this way of thinking from time to time. In this interview with Steve Fizthugh, Dr. Dobson asked him to name the adults who had changed the trajectory of his life.
He named the bus driver, the Sunday school teacher, the pastor, and the woman who "adopted" him on Sunday mornings by letting him sit next to her (the children were supposed to sit with their families and his family didn't come to church). I loved that Dr. Dobson had him name these people; it really encouraged me. To this day Steve remembered their names.
At the end of the podcast, Steve read a song he had written about a young man named Mike. Mike was murdered shortly after this song was written. Steve had written the song as if Mike were telling his story. It details some of the struggles that children and youth in at-risk situations face.
Destiny
by Steve Fitzhugh
I can't hardly see the light of day 'cause misery stays in my way,
Still I dream to be free like them boys on my TV,
But every day is just the same; I'm got nothin' but pain on top of pain.
I can't escape this hopeless dream, open my mouth, but cannot scream.
So, here I am, me and my crew, not knowin' what we are to do.
The street's our only road, no other life to us was told.
Poverty ain't nothin' new; that's all I knew since I was 2.
Mom's did the best she could, struggling down here in the hood.
I'm steady hating that deadbeat dad; disappointment's all I had.
I got to face the dreadful fact, my daddy's never coming back.
Now, I gotta be a man all on my own, yet they don't want me actin' grown.
Street soldiers poppin' their Glock, young'uns keep dyin' up on my block.
I'm scared to close my eyes tonight, 'cause I'm feeling like something just ain't right.
Still I'm tryin' to speak my heart. Too bad your fear keeps us apart.
I can't believe it till I hear it. I can't hear it till you tell it.
If the truth is what you preach, won't you help this brother reach ... his destiny?
And I reminisce about all these scars; it's like I'm in prison and they're my bars.
I'm locked away from the joys of life. Am I destined for streets and strife?
Am I ever gonna win a wife? Ever gonna have a pain-free life?
Ever gonna travel around the world? Would I get another chance to raise my girl?
Will I ever sleep without this hunger? Makes me wonder, makes me wonder
Why I live in so much pain. Will I lose my mind? Will I go insane?
And when I hear the final bell, will it be heaven? Will it be hell?
Will I die when I'm in my prime? Can I ever renew my mind?Is there a God that can forgive all the wickedness I did?
I can't forgive my thugged self. Got too much pride to cry for help.
Facts too hard for me to admit. If it don't fit, you must acquit.
But if my record were true and right, I ought to be serving double life.
They should have thrown away the jailhouse key for the sins locked up inside of me.
No solution for my drama; I'm too old to run to Mamma.
I want to change. How do I pray it? How many times do I got to say it?
You've got sight; why can't you see it? Without you, will I ever achieve it? What? My destiny.
Still I choose to go on. Gotta survive. I've gotta stay strong.
How many times I said, "That's it." How many times I wanted to quit.
Like when Shorty broke my heart, I was true blue right from the start.
"Why me," I had to plead. Gave love a chance and still I bleed.
Regret I wasted time. True that all the blame was mine.
They tell me today's another day; they tell me it's not too late to change.
They say I can still redeem my life; they say there's a way to walk upright.
But when I close my eyes real tight, I'm still seeing demons in the night.
I'm ready to pay about any price just to get a little peace back in my life,
Like the time when we was young, me and my homeys just havin' fun.
Sometimes I want to go way back when; sometimes I want to upstart again.
No more thug life under them street lights. No more sadness. No more sin.
Wish you could help me find my way, 'cause I'm living in fear of Judgment Day.
Even the clock's my enemy, 'cause everybody dyin' look just like me.
It's like my grip is about to slip; it's like I'm down to my last clip.
I'm dodging shadows, but they was mine. Don't let me die before I find ... my destiny.
I was listening on Family Talk to an interview with Steve Fitzhugh, director of The House, a ministry directed toward inner-city youth in Washington DC. Steve mentioned the impact that a church busing ministry had on his life, starting at the age of 12. Dr. Dobson also mentioned the influence that a church-based children's ministry had on his wife Shirley (who came from a dysfunctional home) when she was a child.
In a previous post, I mentioned the importance of treating children from dysfunctional homes with kindness in church. Steve and Shirley's lives were transformed, and in turn, their lives have impacted the lives of others in innumerable ways, because adults took the time to care about them and invest in their lives.
I was so encouraged by this podcast, since so frequently I am tempted to "weary in well-doing" -- even yesterday I was feeling heavily this way. Sometimes this feeling is exacerbated by those in the Church that don't seem to want "those kinds of kids" coming to "our program". Unfortunately we've encountered this attitude more than once.
We've also been blessed by some children's leaders in the Church who have God's heart for "those kids". They are willing to "stick it out" and instead of being content to just continue "blessing blessed people" they are earnestly trying to reach the ones most desperately in need of healthy, godly adult relationships and role-models.
We have some friends, Steve and Tina, who planted a church in a low-income area of their town. Dr. John M. Perkins, founder of the Christian Community Development Association (he's a "big-wig" in our field of ministry) visited their church. What an honor it was for them! Dr. Perkins told Steve that ministries like his typically don't see significant fruit for about 15 years, because the change is generational. When we visited Steve and Tina a while back, they were at the 14 year mark and were starting to see significant fruit being produced in their work. God had used them to build a thriving ministry made up of many adult leaders whom they had been discipling since childhood.
Unfortunately, I think we sometimes discount the importance of spiritual investment in the life of a child -- especially those who have limited access to healthy adult role models or whose fathers are absent from the home. I know I find myself slipping into this way of thinking from time to time. In this interview with Steve Fizthugh, Dr. Dobson asked him to name the adults who had changed the trajectory of his life.
He named the bus driver, the Sunday school teacher, the pastor, and the woman who "adopted" him on Sunday mornings by letting him sit next to her (the children were supposed to sit with their families and his family didn't come to church). I loved that Dr. Dobson had him name these people; it really encouraged me. To this day Steve remembered their names.
At the end of the podcast, Steve read a song he had written about a young man named Mike. Mike was murdered shortly after this song was written. Steve had written the song as if Mike were telling his story. It details some of the struggles that children and youth in at-risk situations face.
Destiny
by Steve Fitzhugh
I can't hardly see the light of day 'cause misery stays in my way,
Still I dream to be free like them boys on my TV,
But every day is just the same; I'm got nothin' but pain on top of pain.
I can't escape this hopeless dream, open my mouth, but cannot scream.
So, here I am, me and my crew, not knowin' what we are to do.
The street's our only road, no other life to us was told.
Poverty ain't nothin' new; that's all I knew since I was 2.
Mom's did the best she could, struggling down here in the hood.
I'm steady hating that deadbeat dad; disappointment's all I had.
I got to face the dreadful fact, my daddy's never coming back.
Now, I gotta be a man all on my own, yet they don't want me actin' grown.
Street soldiers poppin' their Glock, young'uns keep dyin' up on my block.
I'm scared to close my eyes tonight, 'cause I'm feeling like something just ain't right.
Still I'm tryin' to speak my heart. Too bad your fear keeps us apart.
I can't believe it till I hear it. I can't hear it till you tell it.
If the truth is what you preach, won't you help this brother reach ... his destiny?
And I reminisce about all these scars; it's like I'm in prison and they're my bars.
I'm locked away from the joys of life. Am I destined for streets and strife?
Am I ever gonna win a wife? Ever gonna have a pain-free life?
Ever gonna travel around the world? Would I get another chance to raise my girl?
Will I ever sleep without this hunger? Makes me wonder, makes me wonder
Why I live in so much pain. Will I lose my mind? Will I go insane?
And when I hear the final bell, will it be heaven? Will it be hell?
Will I die when I'm in my prime? Can I ever renew my mind?Is there a God that can forgive all the wickedness I did?
I can't forgive my thugged self. Got too much pride to cry for help.
Facts too hard for me to admit. If it don't fit, you must acquit.
But if my record were true and right, I ought to be serving double life.
They should have thrown away the jailhouse key for the sins locked up inside of me.
No solution for my drama; I'm too old to run to Mamma.
I want to change. How do I pray it? How many times do I got to say it?
You've got sight; why can't you see it? Without you, will I ever achieve it? What? My destiny.
Still I choose to go on. Gotta survive. I've gotta stay strong.
How many times I said, "That's it." How many times I wanted to quit.
Like when Shorty broke my heart, I was true blue right from the start.
"Why me," I had to plead. Gave love a chance and still I bleed.
Regret I wasted time. True that all the blame was mine.
They tell me today's another day; they tell me it's not too late to change.
They say I can still redeem my life; they say there's a way to walk upright.
But when I close my eyes real tight, I'm still seeing demons in the night.
I'm ready to pay about any price just to get a little peace back in my life,
Like the time when we was young, me and my homeys just havin' fun.
Sometimes I want to go way back when; sometimes I want to upstart again.
No more thug life under them street lights. No more sadness. No more sin.
Wish you could help me find my way, 'cause I'm living in fear of Judgment Day.
Even the clock's my enemy, 'cause everybody dyin' look just like me.
It's like my grip is about to slip; it's like I'm down to my last clip.
I'm dodging shadows, but they was mine. Don't let me die before I find ... my destiny.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Summer: Eric's Birthday and Frogmore Stew
We celebrated Eric's birthday with friends in California. I made something called "Frogmore Stew" for the party. I found out about the idea from a facebook friend and Googled the recipe. I have made this twice now: for Emma's birthday last year and for Eric's birthday this year. Everytime I have made this I get strange looks from the people I have served it to because the presentation is so quirky. However, once the eating gets underway, everyone ends up having a great time and becomes convinced that it is "okay". Contrary to its name, this stew contains no frogs. Its called "Frogmore Stew" because the creator of it is from Frogmore, South Carolina.
To make this you choose a selection of sea food. I selected shrimp (with shells on), snow crab, clams, and scallops. You also choose a sausage (I chose kielbassa and bratwurst). Corn and red potatoes are also included in the mix. You cook these in a big pot of water with Old Bay Seasoning.
Once everything is cooked, drain the liquid (I reserved it the last time for clam chowder) and then dump the whole mess on to an unset table covered with newspaper.
Supply each end of the table with a roll of paper towels and place condiments in dishes along the table. I used ketchup and mustard for the sausage, butter and lemon for the seafood, and salt and pepper for the potatoes and corn. If you serve crab legs, it is helpful to have some pliers to crack them with.
Click here for a recipe and a little history of this delicious dish (like I mentioned, I used a wider variety of seafood than this particular recipe calls for).
Here is the cake that Emma made. Eric loves VW Bugs.
To make this you choose a selection of sea food. I selected shrimp (with shells on), snow crab, clams, and scallops. You also choose a sausage (I chose kielbassa and bratwurst). Corn and red potatoes are also included in the mix. You cook these in a big pot of water with Old Bay Seasoning.
 |
| Poor Marianne! The crab was "really fresh". (She's a good actress, don't you think?) |
Once everything is cooked, drain the liquid (I reserved it the last time for clam chowder) and then dump the whole mess on to an unset table covered with newspaper.
Supply each end of the table with a roll of paper towels and place condiments in dishes along the table. I used ketchup and mustard for the sausage, butter and lemon for the seafood, and salt and pepper for the potatoes and corn. If you serve crab legs, it is helpful to have some pliers to crack them with.
Click here for a recipe and a little history of this delicious dish (like I mentioned, I used a wider variety of seafood than this particular recipe calls for).
Here is the cake that Emma made. Eric loves VW Bugs.
The birthday hat is courtesy of some silly girls and a father willing to humor them :)
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