Sunday, August 7, 2011

Lessons in Surrendering My Children: Part 2

I mentioned in the previous post, that God has used three different circumstances to help me learn to surrender my children to His care.  Click here to read about the first circumstance.

Circumstance #2
When Emma was born, she was a healthy baby girl.  Post-partum depression, however, left me spiraling down into a pit of worry again. When Emma was two months old, I saw a news story about a little girl who had been kidnapped right in front of her house.  Anxiety over took me as I realized I could only go so far to protect my daughter.  I stressed about how soon I should let her play outside, ride her bike to a friend's house, spend the night alone at someone's house, etc.

I was beginning to come out of this depression when Eric got a disturbing call  while he was at the short term missions agency office he worked for.  On the other end of the phone was an anonymous caller who told him to cancel the Tijuana outreach the next week or "everyone would pay", including him and "his newborn baby daughter!"

Fear over took me in an indescribable, paralyzing way.  I didn't know what to do!  I wanted to run and hide -- which I did.  We took Emma and spent the night at a friend's house.  The next morning Emma and I flew to my parents' house 500 miles away.

Undaunted and unwilling to submit to a threat, Eric called each of the leaders of the 15 or so teams scheduled to be on that outreach.  Each one of the leaders called the parents of the team members to let them know of the threat.  Eric and the rest of the minstry staff would continue the outreach as planned for whatever teams would show up.  Only one team called and cancelled.  Honestly, I was hoping that they all would.

I felt trapped.  I was in bondage like never before.  I wondered if I would ever emerge from this fearful mire. While at my parents' house that week, I was reading in Matthew 18 and came across verses 5-6 & 10:  

"And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.  . . .See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven."

God used that verse to speak to me in my Spirit again.  I felt Him saying to me:  Remember, I told you you could trust Me. I have special Angels watching over her. I take it seriously when people hurt children. If she is ever harmed in any way, my justice will be served.  I promise! 

At this point I was flooded with peace, not just for Emma, but for Eric as well.  Nothing that could ever happen to them that would be outside of God's knowledge, power, and provision.  I can honestly say that since that moment I have no longer been gripped by fear for my children.  Now I've been fearful over other things since then, and I have had moments of fear for my kids, but I haven't been overwhelmed by continuous, unrelenting fear for their safety.

Well, the outreach happened as scheduled and was uneventful.  It turned out that the anonymous caller was suspected to be a disgruntled youth worker whose youth pastor was making him take a trip he didn't want to take.  He didn't admit to the accusations, however, and there wasn't enough evidence to press charges, so no legal action was taken.

I share this story two days after Eric and I saw Emma off for a two week trip to Africa.  I am grateful that the Lord has brought us to the point of being able to release her to His care with open hands. I know I could easily retreat to a fearful grip that would keep Emma close and not allow her to take the risk of traveling so far without us. If I did this then both she and I would miss out on the blessings of God being manifested through her obedience to His calling on her life.

We have some missionary friends who served in the middle east for 15 years.  When asked about the wisdom of serving in an area that is so hostile toward Americans, they would often quote the cliche "The safest place to be is in the center of God's will."  Yes this statement has been so frequently quoted it has become cliche, but what a truthful cliche!  I don't believe God promises to keep us safe,  but He does promise to never leave us or forsake us.  He does say that when we "walk through the shadow of the valley of death" he is with us with his comforting "rod and staff". This is both true for us and our children.

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