Making Churches Safe for Hurting People: A Profile of a Safe Church

Based on my limited experience working with those struggling with chemical dependency addictions and those living in generational poverty, I believe there are many things that we as a church can do to help make our fellowships safe for hurting people (no matter what their socio-economic backgrounds – there are a lot of hurting people in the middle and upper classes too, especially in the clergy-- we just tend to hide it more).  I will list these below and then elaborate on some of these in further posts.

Safe Churches are made up of people who  . . .

1) Listen, with hearts of compassion, to people’s stories without condemnation and judgement.

2) Recognize themselves as sinners by comparing themselves to a holy God rather than comparing themselves to other people.  Safe churches include people who are humble and authentic – willing to share their weaknesses and struggles. These churches include people who readily apologize for misunderstandings or wrongs done.  Safe churches model what brokenness looks like by being broken themselves.

3) Have become educated about the neurochemistry of addictions in order to learn how difficult they are to overcome.

4) Get to know people.  They spend time with them,“hang out” with them and step outside the cultural comfort zone to develop intentional friendships. People in safe churches avoid viewing hurting people as projects that need fixing.

5) Are accepting. They allow people to be in process and are patient with the process (belong, believe, become). They let the Holy Spirit do His work

6) Are flexible and patient with the children.  They get to know them and are patient with misbehavior. They model a spirit of gentleness by speaking kindly when correction is necessary. They encourage other church members to do the same.

7) Have become aware of the culture of different classes – generational poverty, middle class, upper class – inorder to learn the hidden rules that shape our social interactions and expectations.

8) Encourage church members to volunteer with local non-profits who help the poor, addicted, or disenfranchised.

9) Have come to the realization that it is actually the church's job not just to care about hurting people (by writing a check or donating to a food closet) but to know hurting people (by spending time together as friends)

10) Visit or write to inmates in jail or patients in treatment. They accompany them to hearings and trials. They show they care.

11) Are available for transportation, childcare, phone calls, etc.

12) Form “Treatment and Recovery Teams” to offer logistical and prayer support for individuals in treatment centers and their families.

13) Believe in people.  They encourage them and expect them to succeed.  They are cheerleaders and advocates for them, both to their faces and behind their backs.

14) Form support teams of men and women to help single mothers and the elderly with yard work, auto repair, child care, home repairs, etc.

15) Are willing to be a mentor to a child or teen – especially fatherless ones.

16) Encourage people to pursue their educational and career goals and provide support and encouragement along the way (childcare, transportation, resume writing, tutoring, etc.).  They throw a party when someone completes an educational goal (eg. a GED graduation party).

17) Give people who are receiving blessings from the church, also the opportunity to serve.

18) Are willing to dress casually on Sundays, realizing that many people in generational poverty do not have professional wardrobes and will not feel accepted if their manner of dress makes them stand out.  This, of course, is a personal decision for each person to make and some are not comfortable "dressing down" on Sunday. Please search the scriptures, however, and decide if this is a cultural value or a Biblical one.

19) Do not muddy the line between “justification” and “sanctification” by teaching a works-based salvation.  But instead give a clear gospel of grace through faith in Christ Jesus.