Do you worry about your children? I do! I have worried about them ever since they were in my womb. Over the years, through three different circumstances God has allowed me to experience, I have begun to trust Him more and more with the safety of my children. I'm still learning to hold them with open hands to be used by God as He would choose and direct. Its not easy.
Circumstance #1
When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Emma, I worried that she would be born with some sort of developmental disability. I worked with special needs children and saw the toll that it took on families to raise these precious kids and I just didn't know if I had it in me to take on that kind of responsibility myself.
Circumstance #1
When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Emma, I worried that she would be born with some sort of developmental disability. I worked with special needs children and saw the toll that it took on families to raise these precious kids and I just didn't know if I had it in me to take on that kind of responsibility myself.
I knew that God was good and that He wouldn't give me anything that He wouldn't equip me to handle, but at that point, I really struggled to trust God with this area of my life. About 4 months into my pregnancy, this fear began to overtake me. In my moment of despair, however, God revealed Himself to me in a very powerful way that enabled me to begin to release some of that fear to His control.
I was getting ready to take a trip to Mexico with my husband. We worked for a short-term missions agency at the time and were in Mexico frequently throughout the year. I knew there was a dear old interpreter, Euphemia, who was going to be there. Those who knew her endearingly called her "Abuelita", which means "little grandmother", and she was a very dear lady to me indeed.
Several years before, she had given Brian and I a "word of knowledge" that amazed us. Being raised Methodist, Presbyterian, and Baptist, I had previously been skeptical of these kinds of sign gifts. I am still skeptical of them. I really do believe, however, that Abuelita had a word from the Lord that she was supposed to speak to us. We hadn't told anyone about a decision we were wrestling with, but she spoke so specifically to the situation it left no doubt in my mind that it was from God.
I was getting ready to take a trip to Mexico with my husband. We worked for a short-term missions agency at the time and were in Mexico frequently throughout the year. I knew there was a dear old interpreter, Euphemia, who was going to be there. Those who knew her endearingly called her "Abuelita", which means "little grandmother", and she was a very dear lady to me indeed.
Several years before, she had given Brian and I a "word of knowledge" that amazed us. Being raised Methodist, Presbyterian, and Baptist, I had previously been skeptical of these kinds of sign gifts. I am still skeptical of them. I really do believe, however, that Abuelita had a word from the Lord that she was supposed to speak to us. We hadn't told anyone about a decision we were wrestling with, but she spoke so specifically to the situation it left no doubt in my mind that it was from God.
Well, knowing that Abuelita was going to be on this trip, I asked the Lord if he would put something on her heart that would encourage me and let me know that this baby would be ok. When I arrived at the ministry center in Mexico, I began to search for Abuelita. I found her in the dinning room, put on a great big smile and went to greet her.
When Abuelita saw me, she looked straight at me, shook her sweet little wrinkled bony finger, and immediately said something along the lines of, "The Lord wants me to tell you to stop worrying about this baby! Its going to be fine. You can trust Him!" I immediately was flooded with relief -- experiencing God's peace and giving Him praise and glory for being so gracious to ease my fears through Abuelita's words.
When Abuelita saw me, she looked straight at me, shook her sweet little wrinkled bony finger, and immediately said something along the lines of, "The Lord wants me to tell you to stop worrying about this baby! Its going to be fine. You can trust Him!" I immediately was flooded with relief -- experiencing God's peace and giving Him praise and glory for being so gracious to ease my fears through Abuelita's words.
Later on that night, I was lying in bed praying. Although Abuelita's words encouraged me, I was still wrestling with God, trying to take back the peace that He had given me. After a long cycle of praying-worrying-praying-worrying, I heard what I believe was the Holy Spirit speak to me saying. She's going to be okay. You have no idea how okay she's going to be. Trust Me. I have great plans for her!
I have to say at this point that I didn't know whether or not I was going to have a girl or a boy. I didn't find out the sex of the baby when I was pregnant with Emma because I wanted to be surprised. The next day I told Eric that I thought we were going to have a girl, that she would be absolutely healthy, and that God had great plans for her. From that point on in my pregnancy I stopped being consumed by fear. True, I had moments now and then when I slipped into doubt, but these were short lived and didn't leave me a miserable wreck.
Just a side note for clarification: If Emma had been born with a disability, that doesn't mean that God is not good and couldn't be trusted. God has a special purpose for those born with physical and mental challenges and their families. I am not of the health wealth and prosperity theology. I share this story to show how God encouraged me through a fearful time. He could have taken me on a different path and shown His faithfulness in a different way, but this is how He chose to reveal Himself in this circumstance in order to help me better trust Him.
I'll share my next lesson in surrender in the next post.
I have to say at this point that I didn't know whether or not I was going to have a girl or a boy. I didn't find out the sex of the baby when I was pregnant with Emma because I wanted to be surprised. The next day I told Eric that I thought we were going to have a girl, that she would be absolutely healthy, and that God had great plans for her. From that point on in my pregnancy I stopped being consumed by fear. True, I had moments now and then when I slipped into doubt, but these were short lived and didn't leave me a miserable wreck.
Just a side note for clarification: If Emma had been born with a disability, that doesn't mean that God is not good and couldn't be trusted. God has a special purpose for those born with physical and mental challenges and their families. I am not of the health wealth and prosperity theology. I share this story to show how God encouraged me through a fearful time. He could have taken me on a different path and shown His faithfulness in a different way, but this is how He chose to reveal Himself in this circumstance in order to help me better trust Him.
I'll share my next lesson in surrender in the next post.
Beautiful job! Looking forward to the rest.
ReplyDeleteMy husband worked with mentally challenged people for over ten years as a direct care worker. When we were pregnant, he asked God not to give him a special needs child. He was very worried.
I had just had a horrific year with a severe ADHD student with aggression, whose mom had ties to LA gangs. He basically retired me from teaching....it was that stressful. I asked God to never give me someone like him, as the constant battle would be too much over a lifetime.
Well, our first full-term baby is now ADHD/OCD/Tourettes/Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I can't say it won't be a lifelong struggle. It will be. But what I didn't count on as a young Christian (four years into being saved) was the grace that would prevail. I didn't know much about grace then.
Now, I can't say enough about it. I live on grace!
Hi Christine,
ReplyDeleteLizzy has some of the same dx's as Peter, as you know. I pray that it won't be life long struggle for her, but I am preparing my self for that possibility. You are so right! God's grace does prevail. So many times I forget that and then lose it with her, forgetting that her challenges require more grace and patience on my part. She's really enjoyed writing to Peter.
I think God can and does, of course, respond to our prayers and heal even something that is wrong with brain chemistry, but my husband is 53 and still suffers from ADHD inattentive type and possibly depression as a co-disorder. It has affected what he has been able to accomplish, unfortunately. No one sought a diagnosis and just thought he was lazy and disorganized. That is one of the saddest parts of ADHD--when someone gets labeled lazy and other unkind things.
ReplyDeleteSo, although God can and might heal my son, I don't count that as probable.
My half brother has ADHD with anxiety and has done extremely well in the computer field. He happened to find a computer niche that didn't require organization/planning gifts. His personal life, however, didn't turn out so well. My husband has managed his personal life well, thank God.
How these things will affect the future is God's story to write. For my husband's sake, I hope God tweaks the story for the better in the next twenty years. He often says he hopes he doesn't die while still a custodian.