Eric and I were honored by a drop in visitor this morning. "Victor" is a young man in our community who we first got to know about a year ago. This is one relationship that I see the hand of God clearly directing. We first met Victor at Celebrate Recovery(CR) about a year ago. We had a brief conversation that evening, but we didn't see him after that because CR ended in our community a short while later.
Several months passed, and I saw Victor again. This time it was at a local motel where he was dropping off an application for employment. The motel owner is a friend of my mother's and I had dropped by to pick up a tea pot I had lent her. I recognized Victor's face, but was unable to place it, so I just smiled and said "hi".
About a month later, Victor was visiting a friend in the trailer park and, curious as to what we were doing there, stopped by our trailer. We again spoke briefly and then I began to connect the dots between CR and our run in at the motel. He shared with us that his girlfriend was pregnant and how excited he was about it. For some reason God was continually putting Victor in our path, although it was unclear to us at the time as to why. About a month later God gave us the "why".
We have been attending a church for the past year and a half that is more "Spirit led". When I say that, it doesn't mean it is chaotic, but our pastor is very sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit when it comes to the structure and flow of the Sunday service. This is a risky thing to do as a pastor. What if someone gets up and shares something unbiblical? What if things get out of hand? Our pastor doesn't view church as a performance, however and we love him for this. While he strives for excellence in planning the service, and does not do things "willy-nilly", he realizes the truth in the verse that says "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
Well on one particular Sunday last July, I was sitting in my seat waiting for the service to start. After singing some worship songs, our pastor brought Victor up to the front of the church and introduced him. "Victor came this morning because he is in need of comfort and encouragement. He has a story to tell. Let's listen while he shares" I sat in my chair, mouth open, close to tears as Victor shared.
He wept as he told the story of losing his new born son to hydrocephalus ("water on the brain"). "Conner" had been born prematurely and because of that, he possessed a host of birth defects that threatened his life. He lived for 18 days in the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) two hours away in another town. Victor had a loose relationship with our church through one of the members, Kevin, who is the director of a community youth organization in our county. Other than Kevin and his wife, Victor knew no one at the church. What he did know was that he was grieving and needed comfort. We were so blessed that he chose to come to our church to find it.
Afterward, our pastor had people come up and pray for Victor. We resumed the rest of the service after that, however, the worship team looked a little different. Kevin was also the worship leader. He left his post so that he could sit next to Victor and continue to minister to him. What was odd about that was no one seemed to notice the absence of our worship leader. It wasn't until after worship was over that our pastor pointed it out. He used Victor's story as an example of priorities -- putting people over our pre-planned agendas. He mentioned that Kevin, our worship leader had a job to do -- lead worship. He had practiced and planned the service to go a certain way. What a beautiful reflection of the Spirit of God working in Kevin to be able to say, "There is a capable worship team up front who will be able to get a long with out me. Victor is more important than my plan. This is where I need to be right now."
Our pastor mentioned to Victor how grateful he was that he had come to the church in his grief. He made a comment something along the lines of the following: "Victor, I hope you do not take this the wrong way. We are so sorry for your loss. But I want you to know that you blessed us today by letting us minister to you. You gave us the opportunity to be the church to you."
That week I felt so privileged to be part of my church. I saw people come around Victor and his girlfriend, "Melissa". Kevin performed the funeral and had the opportunity to share the Gospel. We held the reception at the church and people helped provide a potluck lunch. One friend of mine, in retelling the story to a woman from another church said, "Our pastor let the young man bleed." He needed to bleed and the church was there to help him bandage the wound. Praise God!
After the Sunday service, I went up to Victor and re-introduced myself (my husband was speaking at another church). He had remembered me from the trailer. I gave him our contact information and told him to call my husband if he needed to talk. He called shortly there after and asked us if we would visit with him and Melissa in their home. We met with Victor and Melissa that week and have had the honor to be able to develop a friendship with them over the past year.
Victor comes almost every Friday for coffee and donuts at the trailer. He and his girlfriend just recently had another baby. Eric got a phone call one morning from Victor asking if he would baptize the baby. Although we don't do infant baptisms, Eric agreed to talk to our pastor to see if we could do a dedication. Last week, Victor asked Eric if he would marry him and Melissa. Eric said he would be honored. We start premarital sessions with them in three weeks.
Today would have been Conner's first birthday. I had planned for my morning to look a certain way. I was going to get some significant, long-overdue housework done before going to a Genesis Process counseling appointment. Eric had some paperwork to do as well. When Victor knocked on our door, it was a surprise to us both. We were so blessed that our friend would come by our house to talk on this significant day. On this day, there was no agenda on our schedule that was more important than him.
After Victor left, I mentioned to Eric how obvious the hand of God had been in designing this friendship. Multiple run-ins culminating in that church service. If our pastor had stuck to his agenda and hadn't "let him bleed", we probably wouldn't have the same relationship with Victor we have today. Our pastor could have bypassed the risk and put him on a prayer chain instead of letting him publicly share -- a name without a face that may have tugged at our mommy and daddy hearts and gotten a few days worth of our prayers, but no personal contact. However, that event last July led to many more contacts with Victor, all culminating in today's visit.
Please pray for Victor and Melissa. They are grieving the loss of their little one still and the anniversary of his death is just few weeks away. Please pray that they will lean heavily on Jesus during this time and receive His peace and comfort.
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